Gestapo Mars- Victor Gischler

“It’s half a cred for the drink, he said. Or what? I used the voice again. He put up his hands and backed away. Hey you know what? On the house. Enjoy your drink, motherfucker. I drank it, but didn’t enjoy it.”

Carter Sloan is a man on a mission for Nazi Mars. If they ever made a movie if this novel, I know the perfect guy to play the booze drinking, robot humping, horny son of a bitch Sloan… David Duchovny.
If Bruce Campbell (yeah, baby) and Rick Sanchez (buurp) somehow had a baby, Carter Sloan would be the end result. 
I’m not even sure where to begin with this and my mind is coming up with all sorts of blanks. But I guess we are going to take the dive…. here we go!

This has been one of the craziest, most outrageous, vulgar and nonstop ride of pure violence that I have ever read in my life. And coming from me, that’s saying a heck of a lot. 

The trained assassin wakes up and finds out that he has been kept frozen for over two hundred years for the Nazi regime. Talk about someone throwing a hissy fit. Everyone has better watch themselves around this psycho they froze. 

His next mission is to kidnap the daughter of the Brass Dragon and kill her. And knowing Sloan, this will not come easy. With his wormhole traveling, female loving (yes, that’s what we’re calling it), his love for debauchery and ultra-violence (the old in out in out) this tale is not to be messed with. 

This book was nonstop all the way until the last fifty pages. It was going great and out of this world. Suddenly it stops like a failed throw on opening day. And it soars… high in the sky and lands at the throwers feet. Magnificent. It really needed to keep up with most of the book. The rating would have been higher then.

And the quotes, don’t even get me started. It was so hard to pick just one for my opening statement. And now Dear Readers, I’ll leave you with a few more of my favorites.

“The daughter of the Brass Dragon is ….. something. Something, I replied. What’s that supposed to mean? It’s called the Kardashian effect, the dog said. The term was coined centuries ago to describe a person who is important or popular or interesting, but nobody knows why.”

“Welcome to the rocky road, you tutti-frutti motherfuckers. It was something I thought the world’s toughest ice cream man might say.”

Come fly away with me Dear readers!!!

3/5 ♡Stacy♡

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